Fresh start
I can't sleep, so I'm up working on our "Dear Birth Mom" letter for our Life Book. This book will go into the stack of "waiting families" to show moms that are placing their babies. They will pour over these books and read about us. They'll see what activities we like to do, what our home looks like, what people we have surrounding our family and kids on a day-to-day basis. They are choosing a future for their kids and this is important. It's important to be real and authentic, but not overwhelming. Much of this process is walking a fine line between "too much" and "too little."
Can you imagine picking a spouse based on a book they had made about themselves? The weight of the feeling of the books in your hand as you decided your fate? How scary would that be?! I try to imagine Birth Mom holding our book and feeling the importance of that moment.
How in the world can you wrap this feeling up in one letter to a stranger? Not "getting a baby" for your family, but GIVING your family and future to her child. How can I show her what I see when Mister Mav rocks our babies when they're sick? How can I capture our family dance parties, and giggles before bed? How can I show them that we're not perfect, and we aren't a cookie cutter family made up of REAL people?
How do I let her know that I think she is braver than brave? That I don't think I could do what she is doing because I'm not strong enough.
That I've felt two babies beneath my chest for 80 weeks and 6 days in my life and then had them placed in my arms and felt my heart double in size in that second. The gravity of sending her child into a safe and loving place. Trusting people to love her child as their own.
This process is strange. Teetering back and forth between "too much" and "too little."
Everyone's journey is so different and has so many variables that everyone must feel a sense of being in uncharted territory.
